The tides change, the oceans crash.

I'm going through old files and figuring, I really ought to start writing again.
My best words come from me being emotionally stable, as odd as that sounds. I think it's because I don't write about myself. I write stories about other people. I'm just a simple 18 year old girl, there are so many more stories that deserve to be heard more than mine.

A nasty republican town...

Wouldn't it be loverly?

SUCH A GOOD MOVIE.

In other news, I leave for Ontario on Friday, which should result in quite a few pictures being taken.

Chase the Morning.

That's ancient history, been there, done that.

OHMIGOD.

So normally I wouldn't do anything like this, but it's so good, and laugh as you may, I have come to appreciate it...

Legally Blonde: The Musical - with the Original Broadway Cast
Starring:
Laura Bell Bundy- Elle Woods
Christian Bole- Emmett Forrest
Orfeh- Paula Bonafonte
Richard H. Blake- Warner Huntington III
Kate Shindle- Vivienne Kensington
Michael Rupert- Professor Callahan
Nikki Snelson- Brooke Wyndham

8 glorious sides and 8 stunning angles.

I found this, and it kind of shocked me a little bit. Never thought this one would ever guest on Sesame Street.

Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be?

When I'm with you, It seems so easy.

I can't seem to find a better video for this song, but I like it.

You get what you get and you don't get upset.

Summer is coming. The city is changing and so am I. I've been trying to make a point lately of doing things that I feel would make me a better person. I'm trying to not be as narcissistic. I'm trying not to be as self-involved. I'm trying not to play with people's feelings and emotions anymore. I've realized that these are not my toys, I've realized that I was just as bad as, if not worse, than the people who have hurt me doing so in the past. I'm trying to pay attention to those that need it, the people that put a smile on my face, regardless of what mood I was in before I started talking to them. In doing so I'm taking my time away from the people that I feel don't deserve anything from me. I've become productive, instead of destructive. I've started trying to do little things for people, the type of things that they remember, and the type of things where I expect nothing in return. Kindness is not about keeping score. I've stopped looking so far into the future, and started living with what I have. I find myself being happier. I find myself making decisions, instead of being cold and indecisive. I find myself having more certianty than I have ever had before in my life. Ever.

When I look to the sky it's not mine, but I want it so.

Lately I've been doing a lot of nothing. I go to school, go to work, and hang out around my house. I guess lately I've just not felt much like socializing, and I have a hunch as to what triggered this behaviour, but I'm not going to disclose it. Lets just say it has something to do with a boy that I'll probably never ever call mine. During spells like these it seems like everything on TV is the most depressing stuff ever. Like, Grey's Anatomy has gotten all sad, Flashpoint tonight was sad, Criminal Minds has been sad. This is something that I don't want to admit to ever watching, but hell, even Hannah Montana lately has been depressing. (I have an 11 year old sister, okay!) It doesn't help that every song I listen to seems to ring with nostalgia, or that the other things that I used to do to make me happy just seem to be flat out boring lately. I need something in my life to spice things up, but that idea always seems to bring disaster. I've even had major problems sleeping lately. Not getting to sleep until 2 and waking up at 4 doesn't seem to have a good effect on my mood or outlook.

Maybe I'm just crazy.

So the other day I was having this conversation with my good friend Travis about the social structures of today and how casual sex and drinking ones self to oblivion and other things are no longer considered taboo in society and we got to talking about the past. I mentioned how I feel like I was born into the wrong generation, and how I want nothing more than to live in like, the 1930's when boys would pick girls up on dates and give them a flower and take them out to dinner or a dance and expect nothing more than a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night, and everyone was just so classy. Like how during the second world war, women were so fashion concious that when they were denied nylons due to nylon rationing (for it to be used as parachutes) they would tint their legs using either watered down gravy or tea and then draw a line down the back of their legs to imitate the nylon seam using an eyeliner pencil (these days girls are so stupid that they go out in skirts that provide a full view of their private area without even knowing that Nylon's are something more than the title of a magazine), or how clothing was also rationed so people had to make do with what they had, using hand me downs or sheets or old clothing to make new clothing. I know plenty of people who would throw a fit if they had to wear the same thing for more than a year without buying anything new. Travis got to talking about how like, in the 1940s the guys would just act like gentlemen but they would slick their hair back or whatever and everyone was just so cool. I really wish I lived back then. I think that society now is simply too rambunxious for how I wish to live. I'd much rather be part of a conforming society where everyone was very put together and proper and free from social and mental constrictions and they did what they had to without a big fuss.

I want this line. All of it.

I'm acting like some kind of 50s housewife.

Lately I've been suffering from a case of "boring". Tonight, I decided to attempt to curl my hair. Unfortunately, I don't think midnight was the best time for me to put my curlers in, because it resulted in some very poor placement, but it garnered some laughs among friends. Ignore my icky makeup-less face. Tommorrow I suppose I'll get up late, take these out, they'll look horrible, and I'll end up going to work looking a little bit less Dita-Von-Teese and a little bit more Bride-Of-Frankenstein, but that's okay. I suppose these things are expected of me.

Ellen Page is so talented.

I am every little girl you ever watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed.

Okay, so I don't know how many people out there have seen Hard Candy. I'm assuming not many, since most people look at me like I'm insane as soon as I say the name (and most of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Hard Candy is a term used by pedos regarding underage girls). Anyways, this is Ellen Page, one of my favourite actresses (and a Canadian at that, Bonus points!) in her pre-Juno indie-flick days. I keep getting different dates on this movie, but I believe that the year it was officially released would be 2006. On a budget less than a mill (which seems to be virtually unheard of lately) the filmmakers have managed to spin a delightfully twisted treat. Page stars as Haley, a fourteen year old, who hunts the hunters. I can't say much else without completely destroying the film for people, although I do have to voice my admiration for the filmmakers who managed to create a female (key term should be: Girl) character who shows no signs of weakness whatsoever. This is excellent. The entire film dialouge is pretty much attributable to Page herself, with a huge cast of like, 6 characters or something, if I counted properly. Sandra Oh also has a cameo in the movie.

This is the last time...

So this is odd, the painful realization that all has gone wrong and nobody cares at all. So you buried all your lovers clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better. Does it make it any better? And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange. Our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance where nobody leads at all. The picture frames are facing down and the ringing from this empty sound is deafening and keeping you from sleep. And breathing is a foreign task, and thinking's just too much to ask. You're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

Well you'd like to think that you were invincible, weren't we all before we felt loss for the first time?

It's hard to explain how I am getting by on so little from you, It's hard to believe that I would let myself get so wrapped into you.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired. 'Cause if it's more than that I fear that I might break,
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed, 'cause I can't read your rolling eyes.
Out of touch, are we out of time?

I'll wait until tommorrow, maybe you'll feel better then, maybe we'll be better then.
So what's another day, when I can't bear these nights of thoughts of going on without you.
This mood of yours is temporary. It seems worth the wait to see your smile again.
Out of the corner of my eye won't be the only way you're looking at me then.

Ignorance is Bliss.

I love it when people take it into their hands to tell you completely irrelevant shit that just ends up bringing you down. Like, thanks, my day sucked enough. Did I really want to know what you just told me? No. Should I care? No. But do I care? Yeah. I do.

Lately, things have had a tendency to go from completely awesome to sour on me in like, 0.3 seconds. Flat. It's like my friends all decide to coordinate and tell me shitty news all at once. SYNCRONIZE YOUR WATCHES!

My thoughts are that more or less, this is karma kicking my scrawny ass. Karma never seems to be on my side.

Why'd you have to be so unkind?

I don't want to give up because I'm all for love.

It's me and you and no one else is invited.

It seems like I'm always waiting for something good to happen. The thing is, when good things happen to me, in my mind, they always seem to feel...too late.

I hate how deciding what I want is always more complicated than it should be.

Walk Away.

I promise you, You're not getting anywhere.

Okay, the english translation for this video is epic. Like, you know how in North America there are them rappers and they're all like "Superman that ho, bitch suck my dick" and it's all super offensive to Feminists and those people who take shit way too seriously? Well, this is France's answer to that, only more colorful, and with more epic moustaches. And it's more catchy. Basically, it's way more fun this way. It's just like, this epic rag on loser men, with small dicks, who take the subway 'cause they can't drive, and basically, they're making an ass of themselves because hot chicks can rap better than them.

When was the last time he grabbed you and kissed you? I know you remember how it used to be.

So I suppose I should explain why in a moment of insanity I've posted pictures of a rose bush on my blog. Well, this is my new baby, and I love it. It cost me a whole $4.99 at Safeway, and it's simply devine. It just makes me happy, you know? And these days, I'll take all the happy that I can get. This is what has spawned my new found girly/grandma phase. Suddenly I've fallen in love with antique tea sets, floral print, knitting, and dresses all over again. Scary thought.

On the other hand, maybe this change is just what I need...

Going back to a point I made earlier: "I'll take all the happy I can get". It seems lately as if I'm being compressed from all around me. From my family to my friends, no one seems to be content these days. It's just more more more. I don't get why people can't just be happy with what they have. It's like chasing an impossible dream. I'm sick of watching people run into themselves. Not only is it pointless, but it brings everyone else down. Just decide what you want, and go with it.

He takes all his women for decadent dinners, expensive restaurants don't mean a thing.

Do you ever wonder why he still keeps it? Do you even know if I gave back his key?

This is the sound of settling.